The two go hand and hand. Some people might put the beginning before the ending but I have always found that when I thought something was over it led to something new. Doors open and we walke through and find what is in our soul. If we are dark we find sadness and grief. IF we are light we feel hopeful and joy. The key is look for the best in everything and work at it. Not to be pollyanna's but to express ourselves in a way that is helpful and I don't know what but we have to try.
Death has been a handmaiden this week. Our community grows by the day but the core of who we are can be rocked by the sudden death of someone. It can be a small bump or a large boulder. I can only do what I am drawn to do. Be there for the ones I love and care for.
I am socially awkward. I recognize and fight with this reality. I sometimes plunge myself into situations because if I don't I believe I will find myself all alone and in despair. It is better to risk some small embarressment and to be rewarded with laughter than to hide.
With all this rambling I am going to say that I believe today will be better.
Friday, February 5, 2010
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